Hi, I'm Itsel
Challenges In my life a difficult challenge I am still facing is learning to love myself. If I do not learn how to love myself and have respect for myself, my life will become more difficult as I get older and I will go through much more problems. Before I would not think this was a challenge because I thought I was pretty happy until I starting high school. I realized more problems there would be more problems I would face if I did not love myself. What I am currently doing to learn to love myself is taking baby steps to get where I want, to be like having goals every month for myself. In my planner that I usually look at everyday I have motivational sticky notes. As well in my room I am creating a dream board and have notes on my mirror to make me more confident as I leave my room. I am also surrounding myself with positive people as well as having a closer relationship with my older sister because she has overcame much more stuff, gives me advice on how it is important to love yourself because no one else will and then no one can take advantage of you. My mom helps me by telling me stories of her past and telling me everything she wished she did. I believe learning to love myself will open new doors to myself as a happier life style.
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Education From all my school years I had many opportunities to help me through my struggles in classes for example math. I am currently trying my best to improve and get a better understanding of everything, I did fail integrated 2 and had to take the class again and got behind from where I am suppose to be. I believe that I had got better and got a better teacher to teach me and explain to me in different ways to resolve problems. I used to think that I will not get better but my teacher, parents and friends always encouraged me to practice and to not give up because eventually it will become less difficult. What stuck to me that my mom had told me when I was struggling is that in life nothing is easy and when she told me this it made me realize that she is right and whatever I want to accomplish I can. Although it gets frustrating at times because I am not someone who understands problems quick and I have to put extra time on a problem unlike some people who finish the problem fast and move on which gets me stressed at times but at the end it truly does feel satisfying to know that I accomplished a difficult problem. Another opportunity I took was signing up for AVID, this is an opportunity for me because it has helped me become more organized and better at note taking also once a week tutors come to class and help us with any kind of question we have. I used to think that the program was for smarter students but it really was not. Thanks to my friend who told me it will help me know more about what I want to do after high school and to organize myself more.
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Creativity
When I express my creative side I usually do it by drawing, or dancing. I’m not the best at art but I love to sketch or even color anything because it really calms me down and distract me from anything that is going on and in my art I express what I see, feel, smell...etc in my head when I try to figure myself out. As well as music helps me go through some tough times because I plug my headphones in and go into a different world and I choose a song that is what I am feeling in a way and sing my heart out, this really helps me release my stress I have and makes me realize and plan what I have to get done as well as motivate me to get going through a hard day. In dancing I play a song that is somewhat my mood for that day and begin to dance, I am not professional or anything near that but I just start to express how I am feeling and how the music is changing my feelings into dance moves that may seem strange but allows me to get all the negative feelings that is in me out of me and into a better mood. From my creative side of expressing myself I have gained motivation in myself, helped me understand when I am feeling down to help myself left my positiveness.
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TalentsThe greatest skill I believe I have is listening. Throughout the years I am one to have a weak heart because I tend to care a lot for others and that has created me to take the time to listen to anyone's problems or who just want to get something out of their chest. I also started to developed patients which is big when trying to help anyone who wants help. Over time I have met new people who have similar skills as I do and I have become close friends with them and they have helped me develop different types of techniques and they have also changed me, they showed me how to get out of my comfort zone. Another skill I have is, multitasking I am not the best nor can not do as much. However I do know how to get anything I need to do done before It is late. I have grown to develop this skill by my mistakes. Around fifth grade, my mom taught me to clean up after myself as well as the house. Once I got in the habit of having my clean house, school work started to become harder and well I was getting older. It became harder to keep my house clean, take care of my siblings, and still having to do school work plus distractions like boys, social media, and friends made it difficult to see what was more important and at the time of course I thought friends and having a “social life” was more important but then I realized that none of that mattered. I became more organized which helped me set times to clean and start my homework and try to finish at a specific time and I would always be somewhere I could make sure my siblings were being good and if time I make time for my friends.
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Identity
My story would not be complete without my family. Family to me is the most important thing in the world and is a big part of what defines me. My parents gave me the mexican roots and with that comes with culture which has many traditions that I would forever cherish. For example the food that is made for the holidays, the sunday reunions, and my favorite going to Mexico almost every December to celebrate christmas and new years. It is my favorite because I get to go to new places and get together with family that I rarely see. I also get to visit my cousin’s grave which every since he has passed away I have not failed to visit him at least once a year and I plan on to keep it like that because he was one of my favorite cousins I have and was an outgoing person in my family and he always changed my ways of thinking. Furthermore my sibling especially my older sister has made me see new ways of living and really helped me grow as a person. She has gone through tough patches and has helped me get motivated to do what I love. Next are my parents that they have made me become the joyful, hardworking and caring person I am today, without them I would obviously would not not here. My family and like many families out there have gone through problems and with those problems have came a lesson to be learned. I believe that is why I am a caring person, I hated feeling sad and lonely, not being able to talk to anyone. I did have my younger siblings but they were too small to understand, my older sibling was in her own world and we were not as close, and my other family I did not feel comfortable to talk to. My joyfulness came from starting to get closer with family members I was not close too. Many showed me so much of life that I was missing out on, being moody over something that would take my opportunity to do something to take off my bucket list was a mistake I would be always making. For example staying home while my cousins invited me to a restaurant I have not gone too, ice skating which I had never gone before, Disneyland, lakes and other places I have never gone too or even their house because I was tired or just annoyed for no reason. Now I try to go everywhere they invite me or even family reunions we have because we get get be together and share laughs and do not get feel any type of loneliness and just love. My hard working me comes from seeing my parents struggle with money because of the jobs they have that are not good pay, that is because they did not finish school and can not find a decent job. My dad did not finish school because he did not have the same opportunity as most of us do now and my mom had the opportunity but did not take advantage of it because she disliked it but of course now she regrets it because it is hard to find a job when you do not have at least a high school diploma. They both encourage me to take as much advantages I get from education and to not fall behind school because they do not want to see me end up like them, they want me to be someone in life. They have helped me find what I want to become in the future and they motivate me to push myself through tough times. I believe these are my top characteristics I have that without them I would not be me.